If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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