i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The beers last night were like the tears from god
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
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What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
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What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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