Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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