I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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