She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
