I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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