do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We have started to decorate penises.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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