I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We have so much sex to catch up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize