Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
