I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
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You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
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Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon