My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.