dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.