u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today