I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.