but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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