I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
