yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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