I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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