You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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