idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
