Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
