That's intense
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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