It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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