My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
time to smoke my breakfast
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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