if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
