Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize