Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
