That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize