Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry smknphtj hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.

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(972): View more from Texas

Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?

(469): View more from Texas

Ya, why?

(972): View more from Texas

We should try that some time.

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(330): View more from Ohio

just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox

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(718): View more from New York

he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty

(917): View more from New York City

smooth operator

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(419): View more from Ohio

when I sang my humps to you I meant it.

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(269): View more from Michigan

all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird

(269): View more from Michigan

OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO

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(514): View more from Quebec

I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night

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(515): View more from Iowa

ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...

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