Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
