i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
