how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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