idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
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Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
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are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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