We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
