There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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