and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
