Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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