I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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