plz talk dirty to me
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
