highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
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I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
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Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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