absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize