My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
