I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
