i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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