I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Boobs speak an international language.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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