found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
