she takes plan B like it's going out of style
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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