Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize