i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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