my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
He is an equal opportunity slut.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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