i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
