She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
