we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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