Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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