That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
