Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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