Fine. I'll sleep in my office
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize