woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
