It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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