Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
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Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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