I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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