singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So vagazzling was a success
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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