i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The best revenge is premature balding
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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