I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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